...So Let's Be a Chimp !!!
Friday, January 27, 2017
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“She didn't care that people called her a b**ch. 'It's just
another word for feminist,' she told me with pride.”
― Gayle Forman, If I Stay
Preface: This is for my very smart best friend who advised me
to stop being too nice and try being a chimp for a change. I took her advice
and here I am a happy girl today, already feeling light without the suffocating
weight of all the unnecessary niceness.
Often
aggressive, assertive women - the kind who scare some women and all
men off and who take no bullsh*t – are termed as chimps and often as something
else, too! Hush-hush but what's exactly wrong with that? Being a chimp could be
favorable for you. Being ‘nice’ could be quite the opposite, though. Oh yeah, ask
me! I have been there, done that! Not so proud of being nice anymore – I want
to be a chimp!
Often
when a woman voices an opinion, stands up for something, someone or herself,
one word thrown at her is – chimp! Is being a chimp really that bad? Seriously,
if doing all the above makes you a chimp then let's be a chimp! Shouldn’t having a voice be
encouraged? Is a suppressed woman a nicer woman? We must all choose to be chimps
if we wish to be happy – forget what others think!
Being
nice means being easily manipulated into doing things others refuse to do! Oh,
you need to send invites at the eleventh hour, go get that nice girl to do it
for you! Know that niceness and manners are not mutually exclusive.
Cutting the nice girl routine does not mean you become proactively mean. It's
not like shoving a door on someone's face, screaming at strangers, publicly abusing people, or making them listen to Tahir Shah’s songs (that would be
torturous). All that’s required is assertiveness!
Once upon
a time (not too long ago), I was a really nice girl. Like super nice! (Now, I
am in a transitional period of becoming a chimp! Yaayyy!) So I was that
stereotypical nice, quiet and innocent girl who just wanted to be nice and
liked, and who apologized all the time because she felt she was always wrong
and others were always right. I would apologize even if I stood up for myself,
or spoke out against something. Damn! You were nice, ATS! You lil' chimp! *a hammer
blow on your back*
Anyways,
eventually I found my voice, my fire. The daily frustration wore on me and I
realized being a bland nice person was something akin to being a lazy hen locked
up in a cage. I didn’t want to be a slothful hen; I chose to be a vivacious chimp, instead!
Being a chimp
simply means I don’t want anyone’s approval! I don’t feel the need to receive
validation from others. The only person’s validation I need is my own. I’m
confident in who I am and what I stand for.
Friends,
Romans, countrywomen, lend me your ears! People will be upset with you – get
used to it. You can’t keep everyone happy all the time. Learn to say ‘no’, if
that’s all your inner goddess tells you to say. And if that makes you a chimp,
let it be so! Being selfless would never let you get ahead in life. I
don’t care if I sound cynical here – but this is the hard truth! If putting yourself
first makes you a chimp - well then congratulations — you are one strong woman…I
mean a chimp!
The
problem is with the way we are raised – girls are taught to be nice. Nobody tells
us being nice means preparing ourselves to be doormats and letting people walk
all over us for eternity. So, let’s change our fate… So, let’s be chimps!
Are you
sure you’re going to let that coworker take the last cookie on the plate?
Definitely not! Grab it and rub it all over your nose. Now, offer him and thump your chest like a
gorilla! Don't be that nice girl that shares her lunch with everyone and is
left hungry herself for no one to notice. Stop it immediately if this is all
you’ve been doing your whole life!
I say
embrace your inner chimp – feed her and let her grow to her full size! All you
need to learn is to be assertive especially while standing up for yourself when
you’re insulted or disrespected. Step up! Protest! Be assertive! Be stubborn!
Don’t apologize!
One major
quality of a chimp is being highly competitive in everything she does – she
would even race up her lunch! If you show too much concern about winning,
you’ll be termed as a chimp - because apparently only men have the right to
compete, women can and must only collaborate. If you want to be taken
seriously, you got to be chimpy! Nicety will take you nowhere! Being a chimp
gives a clear and loud message – ‘don’t mess with me!’ - Saves you from a lot
of worries!
I am not
professing that we shouldn’t treat others well, or be selfish (all the time).
We can still keep our kindness and thoughtfulness, but guard ourselves against being
pushed around or used. And when you need to hiss... then hiss! Transform
yourself into a snake – a cobra! A big black one with a history of biting
people! And kill people who deserve to be killed! Suck the blood out of them –
even the last drop of their filthy blood!
And yes I
preach chimpism - you've a problem? Get off my blog right now!! Shoo!!
Here’s to
me and my chimps!
10 comments
hahaha i cant stop laughing.very witty and clever :)
ReplyDeleteGlad it made you laugh :) Thanks !
ReplyDeleteOMG this is hilarious and so beautiful, for the fact that i am a nice girl too and now ready to give up my nicety owing to people's meanness toward me over the years. love your blog <3
ReplyDeletehehe.. so let's be a chimp ;)
DeleteIslamabad Diaries is a diary of a burgeoning feminist!
ReplyDeleteKudos!
Yes, something like that :p hahaha
DeleteThis is a prevalent thing in the desi community. I used to be "nice" but I stopped giving two f*cks about conforming to cultural pressure and how I should act like to please others opinions. I guess you can call me a "chimp" too.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to 'chimpism', as I call it :D
DeleteYes, it is mostly a part of the desi culture.. and it's sad to think how women over the ages have suffered due to this mentality. We need more chimps to change this forever!
Love your writing style and in complete agreement with your thoughts expressed here. I also believe the our geographical location and the sheer number of people residing here naturally drive us to be a chimp, after all only the fittest survive!
ReplyDeleteRightly said! Being nice is equivalent to throwing yourself to snakes. So let's be a chimp! ;)
Delete