Rants of a Pakistani Driver
Monday, October 24, 2016
“Why do I always forget that traffic is a
social affair?”
― Stefan Emunds
Preface: If your morning or afternoon or
evening commute has ever caused you to nearly spontaneously bawl in your car
seat, you’ll likely sympathize with me or any other driver you know (not to
mention yourself). There
are days when I wish I was still a kid being dropped to school by my dad and
being picked up in a school van, to avoid any sort of direct or indirect road
contact with the other so-called drivers. Those of you who know me personally
would know that I drive only in Islamabad, which is supposed to be every
driver's dream (at least in Pakistan). However, the city has its downside in
driving and I've lately observed and blurted out (I am usually a calm
individual, though) a few times on the road, so I thought maybe I should share
it with the world.
So my first rant as a Pakistani driver
is against the drivers who love speeding; they whoosh pass you like a ghost or
some sort of a supernatural creature. Sometimes, I can even feel my car tossing
lightly as a result of the blowing off wind they leave behind while
flash-passing. You see a speeding car all dinged and banged up and you wonder
what kind of damage would finally knock some sense into the speeding driver! I
mean, what’s the emergency after all? Do you need to use the restroom? Like is
it really that bad? If you speed a little (occasionally), it is acceptable but
if you’re in a habit of speeding dramatically pretending to be a flash-man then
you should certainly reconsider before you cream your innocent victim!
Then you're likely
to bump into tailgaters on the roads of Islamabad (or more appropriately put;
they're likely to bump into you). Often you have to reassure yourself they
aren't roped to your car or something. I mean, keep some distance, you clingy!
How can anyone in their right mind drive within a few inches at a considerably
decent speed? I believe you when you say you've super reactive brakes, a
well-gripped set of tyres, and that you're an excellent driver (I highly doubt
the last part, though), but you can still fail to avoid an accident if you
tailgate. Sometimes people brake unexpectedly or even slow down significantly;
you could easily hit the car. Tailgaters seem to be clueless about basic
physics, human reaction times, and common sense. They must be ignorant of many
things: they must be under the delusion that somehow there could never be a
need to react at a snap, or that they will somehow be able to stop quicker than
the driver in the front – dangerously wishful thinking!
I’ve seen people
in Peshawar and Lahore running the stoplights, owing to their impatience and
with much delight and a big smile knowing they’ve won beating the system.
Islamabad doesn’t see that a lot. Just a few sneaking through the red lights by
a microsecond before the orange goes red; know that you are still an offender.
You could crash into another while still making your way through the
intersection, when light has already turned green for another lane. Patience,
mate!
OK so you think
you’re cool because you can text while driving? Give me a break! Driving needs
full concentration and so does texting, so this multi-tasking is of no good.
Either put your phone down and drive or just sit at home and use it!
There are two
extremes that I often find myself sandwiched between on right lane. There are
those cussed drivers who love hanging out in the right lane, even if they are
slower than the flow of the traffic. Come on, just get to the left lane; you
don’t belong here. Speed limits
are arbitrary, subject not to safety or engineering, but rather politics (so to
say). If you cannot do politics; just resign and unseat yourself! And then
there are those who keep flashing their brights at you and won’t leave you alone
unless and until you get out of their way. Sometimes, it’s just not convenient
moving to the other lane (especially when there is traffic on it). Please grow up, dude. This isn't a
video game; a little bit of
patience won’t eat you up. Impatience could though!
Next you'll meet
those who use the high beam headlights even within the city (and there are
many), blinding your vision making you see a thousand splendid suns even in the
darkest of nights. I curse you and your sight, you ignorant driver! Who gave
you the license? - sorry, for losing it a bit here! Phew!
Ever encountered
those pulled over on roadsides and just when you are close, they veer in front
of you; all this without the use of any indicators (what are indicators,
again?).
Often when I am stuck in traffic and obviously I have no way
to go, I get honked by anxious souls waiting right behind me. Honking is not
going to move my car. I assure you I already know I'm blocking your path and
you blowing your horn constantly are only going to piss me off and create noise
pollution in the country's capital. I can’t just fly over; if you can, please
go ahead, fly and stop honking. Yet, a considerable percentage believes they
don’t have to wait it out with the rest of us in traffic lines, bolting down
the slightly moving lane until someone lets them in or they forcefully merge in
front of someone who is patient and doesn’t close up tight enough to thwart letting them in (that would
be me!).
And then those ‘sweet, innocent’ bikers, who assume no rules
apply to them. They try to run over pedestrians and even cars ten times their
size. They have delusions – they think they are flying in the air and just when
you stop at a signal, they make their way through zigzag moves and stop right
in front of your face, swirling and waving like an eagle. It's actually
shocking the way they fix themselves with such ease and sobriety.
How can I forget the rubberneckers!!! Why do people rubberneck everything??? Even the buildings or
the posters they see every single day. So, is there an accident on the road? Do
you want to go help? No? Yes, of course all you wish to do is indulge your
morbid curiosity.
OK now a little
advice for the traffic cops!! I'm big on traffic enforcement but trust me, you
don't have to stop people in high traffic areas: signal them to move to where
you won't block traffic. And you aren’t paid only to ticket drivers for not
fastening their seat belts. There are a million other rules too that they’re
breaking so learn to be more versatile.
By not following
the traffic rules and not being a careful driver, you are not only putting your
life in danger but also that of others. It's totally unjust: you could smash
people in an instant because of your fault alone, and they can't do anything
about it except haunt you for the rest of your life (that too only if you’re
sensitive enough to blame yourself and not them). Be a good citizen and follow
the traffic rules religiously!
Here is to all the
drivers out there, reading this and being able to relate to it! Happy safe
driving!!!
22 comments
I enjoyed reading all above, at least I'm not the only one who face these clumsy things on road. Everybody is in rush, and give damn to other people on road. We as nation getting impatient and self centered, this create ls growing problems each day.
ReplyDeleteGood work Amna, keep writing.
Thank you for your input and the words of appreciation!
DeleteThat's true...each and every car on the road seems to be in a mad rush. They fail to realize that their impatience could be fatal.
Would that all drivers were able to read this and would that,of course, all who can read;must read !beautifully explained!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, sir :) Your appreciation means a lot to me.
DeleteMagnanimous piece of writing..Awesome read.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words!
Deletewell done madam, u truly are hell of a writer!! any may be a driver!
ReplyDeleteThank you !
DeleteWOW! I can totally relate to this. You just explained the scenario so briefly that their is nothing that I can add to this write-up. It has every bit of the words that come to my mind when I am driving on the road. Just loved this post. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHaha looks like it's same everywhere in the world ;) thanks for the feedback, Nancy :)
DeleteGreat post!! I loved reading this because I can totally relate!!! shell
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shell :) Appreciate your feedback!
DeleteNice help and tips for road drivers.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sydney!
DeleteLOL! This is something I would write to calm my road rage down? Let me tell you, these people out here don't deserve a license!!
ReplyDeletehaha you got that right. Love the cathartic effect of writing :) And yes, their licenses should never have been issued at the first place but now that it can't be undone, the authorities can at least take the licenses back! LOL
DeleteI spend about 5 hours on the road for my work commute (I really need to move closer). Anyways, I have ran into every single situation that you mention lol. I'm sorry lol but people suck lol. Sometimes I wonder how they even got a license because some of these people shouldn't even be on bikes lol....well and then you have the bikers LOL
ReplyDeleteSo these situations seem universal :D Bikers are actually very annoying.. motorists are from another planet altogether :D
DeleteP.S 5 hours daily commute is a tough call! Especially considering how these crazy drivers on the roads outnumber drivers like ourselves.
There are so many undisciplined drivers all over the planet, this situation is universal. .Thank you for these helpful, nice tips .
ReplyDeleteYeah now I know it's universal :D I thought it was just me !
DeleteI think you will find such drivers almost in every country just the difference would be of the quantity. But I guess it's the people who become like this, either they are driver or in some other profession. But really like the way author has described everything.. Thanks for sharing with us
ReplyDeleteThank for the comment ! Yes! I guess road ethics is something very few people in the world are aware of.
Delete