A Girl in the Capital City
Thursday, April 13, 2017
“Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light? Or just another
lost angel... City of Night?”
― Jim Morrison
― Jim Morrison
Although my life in the country’s very charming capital, as an
independent, single working woman is great, but I still have an itch
to someday pack my bags and move back to the provincial capital (where home
is!). Torn between my never ending hunger for big possibilities, spick and span
roads, neat traffic, classy and refined lifestyle of the capital, and my untold
thirst for home, my journey has so far been rough, fun, and exciting. Over and
above, it has been an enriching experience! The experience of 'living on your
own' is similar to going to school - those ten years of school teach you lessons
for a lifetime and shape you into the person you grow up to be. In this, the
beautiful Islamabad is my teacher!
To some, the idea of
living away from home may seem nothing stupendous. Well, here is a reality
check! Living away (for whatsoever reason, at whatsoever age) could be a
crucial blow to our emotional and mental equipoise. Our homes are our nests –
that’s where we recover, escape, seek shelter and enjoy the liberty of being
ourselves. It takes a great amount of courage to uproot all that, stuff your
life into small boxes and move to the unfamiliar. You give up your ‘safe place’
and start from scratch to build up another 'nest' - this time, all on your own.
You may or may not possess a gypsy spirit; you may or may not fancy to be
anchored, but at times, you have to shift places. After three years of
independent living, I have learned that, in all actuality, life truly starts
when we burst out of our comfort bubbles, and face our demons. The lessons I’ve
learned have petrified me, challenged me, and often beaten me, but it all boils
down to a single factor – these lessons have pushed me to grow, and growth can
be one hell of a troubled experience.
Growth, as in what and
how, you ask? Well, you tend to build up strength when you've to figure out a
way to fix a leaky faucet in your toilet at midnight, when you refuse to let
the car mechanic intimidate you, when you alone have to decide menu for every
meal of everyday, when you’ve to keep track of paying your utility
bills and budgeting yourself, when you have to get things done around all on
your own - amidst all these adventures and misadventures, you
grow! Sometimes you’ll be driving around the city, surrounded by a
multitude of people, but you’ll feel isolated, unable to connect with anyone
from the pack. At times like these you have to frequently remind yourself that
you made this giant, courageous leap for a reason! You’ve got this; it’s all
under control! That's a lot of exposure, and the older I get, the more I
realize that exposure to the life in our modern capital city (whilst living
alone) breaks you, makes you and shapes you into someone you could take a lot
of pride in.
Islamabad is a high-end city; I guess all capitals are notorious
for that quality! For me, it is even more, as I often compare prices to those
in Peshawar. So, initially, the price tags often gave me the shocks of my life.
But, I have gotten used to them now. Another thing - shoppers don't bargain in
this city. People generously and politely pay whatever the price tags say –
that’s a BIG ‘NO’ in my hometown but I’ve somehow grown comfortably used to
this one as well. When living away from home, the major portion of
your earnings is likely to be spent on ‘what goes into your stomach’. When
you’ve to budget your finances, you curse the ‘hell’ attached to your
belly. And it’s hard to keep track of your bank account when it dwindles
speedily right around the mid of each month. The city is still, despite its
high cost, a perfect place to indulge in fine retail therapy and splurge on
tasteful imported items.
There's one cliché often associated with the Capital that I found to be true living here – they say that the posh city is a habitat to tons of high-maintenance, super vanity-obsessed people. Living in the Capital, I can assure you that there sure is much well-coiffed talent around here. That kind of a made-up show is rarely sighted on the streets of Peshawar; for very obvious reasons involving the infamous male gaze in the provincial capital!
Loneliness could be a
major concern when living away from family. You can always call your folks back
home or have a Skype session but obviously it isn't the same. So, living afar
could make you accept selfish people into your life to abate loneliness. Long
time ago, I made a pact with myself that I would not tolerate unacceptable
behavior of mean people, even if they were the only people I knew in the city.
I am not breaking that pact because there is no exception to this rule! When
you feel lonely, sometimes you just have to dive in fearlessly. I’ve realized
that this is a great time for me to revive my special interests and hobbies.
Besides, the Capital provides endless entertainment options, no matter what
your interests; they can add value to your life and help expand your horizons.
One of the most powerful
lessons that I have learned from this experience is that no matter what, one
has to stay true to one’s self. Your inner voice is your true guide and making
a connection with it helps you in your social dealings. If people around
you are berserk and self-centered, your inner calmness and state of peace will
help you resonate with them. Just because everyone else around you may be
materialistic and status conscious, is no excuse for you to change yourself to
keep abreast of them. Your maturity lies in your strength to adhere to your
values.
The truth is that
everyone, who develops the capacity to live on their own, finds it an intensely
personal experience. Whereas living independently means to brace up the self by
endeavoring to engage in solitary pursuits and learning to revel in one's own
company, it also implies making tremendous efforts to build up strong
connections; you can’t expect to survive for long, living in seclusion. So,
these conflated ideas always end in a battle! I don’t know for how long I can
bear my homesickness and my urge to return back to my roots; but surely one day
when I pack to move back, I will look back at this time and smile at the
lessons this amazing teacher has taught me.
Here is to all my
living-away-from-home readers! Cheers!
11 comments
living with your family is a fortune and privilege. But we usually feel this thing later in our life
ReplyDeleteYeah, of course. I can feel it now, but Islamabad is love. So just torn between the two choices.
DeleteTrue. The calmness of Islamabad and wildness of margalla hills make it inevitable to fall in love with it.
DeleteLucky girl that your mond is accepting the place where you are living.. you are inspiration to those who are living far from their families.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hira :) It's very nice of you to say that. Living alone could be tough but it does teach you a lot of things in life and makes you a self-sufficient person :) so I do hope people find inspiration in my piece.
ReplyDeleteNever been to Islamabad, although I have visited Karachi. Being alone makes you tough and being in a big city makes you tough too! Keep staying true to yourself..
ReplyDeleteYes, just read your blog about how loneliness could hit you while traveling to places :) I guess we could relate to each other there.
DeleteKarachi is amazing but Islamabad is a completely different feel. Come have that experience :)
We learn so much being solo travelers. It is better than being with the wrong person, I guess. - Yeu Doi
ReplyDeleteI agree.. being solo matures you, helps you grow, helps you become your own person!
DeleteFrom your writings it seems that every new city tell you something new about yourself. So be informed that when you're talking about a new city, you're talking about yourself. LOL
ReplyDeleteYes, I know :) I am very open to the idea of expanding my self-awareness. This helps me grow, mature and use my potential to the fullest.
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