“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.”
― David Mitchell
Preface: She takes a long deep breath
and puts on a counterfeit smile before knocking at the door. Somehow, she has
lost herself in the busy schedule – the lights, the people, the expensive fragrances,
the exotic food and a million materialistic objects; everything has made her connect
with the world but disconnect with her own self. The thought strikes her for a microsecond before the door to the ‘lights and action’ opens – there, she is lost
again! Her true
self has grown faint at the backdrop of the life she has created for herself to
be the person others expect her to be.
Have you ever found yourself in a networking
event becoming cognizant of the fact that you have almost forgotten to be 'you'? Perhaps, at some point we
have all exclaimed with fondness and longing ‘Oh! I love catching up with so and so - it’s so easy to be myself in
their company!’ Or something like, ‘I
feel lonely and downhearted at this gathering, trying hard to make polite conversations with a
bunch of terribly superficial people’.
Prior to plunging into the realm of finding and
being yourself, the vital step to be taken is to understand who you really are
and then be true to that ‘discovery’. Self-knowledge is a pillar on which all
virtues rest, said Socrates, and nothing is genuine in its absence. We spend our
lives under façades – layers and layers of façades – not giving ourselves the
chance to know who we really are, though we think we do know ourselves. Why appreciation
and reassurance from others is all that we need to evaluate our self-worth? Is self-awareness a myth? Let bygones be bygones and in the coming year, let’s meet ourselves!
Ever realized how your
activities and hopes are reduced to what people expect of you? Imagine how
would people react if your true self was exposed before them? Does it really
matter how they would react? Knock knock!! Does anyone know the real you? For many of us, a considerable gap exists
between our specious and actual selves. We hanker after the freedom
to be ourselves but more often than not, we are driven to compromise our uniqueness
out of fear of rejection.
Have you ever caught yourself disbelieving
someone's opinion of you? Think twice before you dismiss them. After all, we
may not know ourselves as well as we think we do! We are constantly challenged by
others' opinion of us and social comparisons to reformulate who we are. When we
struggle with defining ourselves, we end up yearning after approval and
feedback from others to build our self-awareness. However, if we have a strong sense
of self image, we do not bother about collecting feedback from others. In
that case, we reinterpret, disapprove or take information based on our own
coherent sense of self.
Since we grow up in an environment that
conditions us to behave in a certain way and be a specific type (the conformist
type), it certainly is a difficult thing to be yourself. The repercussions of
avoiding one of the deepest truths about ourselves could be ruinous, though.
The only upside, however,
is that you subconsciously take off your mask in the company of the person (or
people) you feel closest to! So, it helps you identify your confidant. Close your eyes, think deep and know who those people are – I bet there are just a few! Treasure them! You can’t be
yourself with everyone – it’s too big a risk to take, unless of course you’re
ready for a lifelong trial.
In pursuit of imitating others, sense of failure
and disillusionment are likely to creep in. Therefore, focus must be on cultivating
our own genuine personalities. Would we not be more attractive and interesting when
we carve our lives as a true expression of what we really are? To find true
fulfillment, trusting your intuitions and instincts is significant. Look deep
within to find your source of satisfaction and follow through your path.
Some situations and people may be best dealt with by
hiding your true selves. You cannot be a lone warrior going on a rampage
declaring your true feelings and thoughts on a horseback. Therefore, in perilous
situations, where there is a danger to face uncalled-for criticism, belittling
of you or your efforts, unnecessary discouragement, anger and abuse, it may be
worth looking at how to cut down exposure to such stimuli of harm and danger.
So, it all boils down to one question – what are
our true selves? Our true self is what appears when we let go of all the judgments,
stories and labels affixed to us. It is the natural us – us after the removal
of all pretentiousness. It is what comes out and is visible when the cloak of our
mock-up image falls to the ground.
So, the coming year, let's be
ourselves! Silent the worldly callings, be all ears to yourself, have faith in what
speaks to you and flow with it!
Here's to our true selves! Happy New Year! Happy True You!
