Confessions of an Introvert

Friday, July 15, 2016

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“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.” 
 Criss Jami

To begin with, introverts are not anti-people or under-confident or rude or whatever. I am here to play voice for my kind and make a few things straight. Now, something about who we are! Well, we are those you see standing awkwardly and quietly at parties, making failed efforts to contribute to conversations. Also, those you see in libraries sitting alone for hours absorbed in books. Those you sit next to during flights, who wouldn't waste another second before they earplug themselves to shut any possibility for you to interact with them. We are those who ditch you every time you include us in a weekend out plan. Also, one of those at workplaces, you think are totally dumb, deaf and lackluster, until one day you realize they are wonder men or women doing incredible things and you are awestruck.

Peeps!! If we seem withdrawn, it isn't because we don't know what you're talking about, we simply choose not to add up anything to the discussion because most likely we are disinterested. Since, most of the times we are completely consumed by the inner world of our own, we often fail to find the right words while making a conversation with the outside world, so we think it better to keep mum. This phenomenon of 'word searching' is a challenge. It works like a 'writer's block', we have a words' block instead - a state which leaves us tongue-tied, and/or even tongue-tired. Another reason could be that we are probably in the middle of a deep thought process and would enlighten you with a brainwave very soon. Multi-tasking is what we loathe. We like to focus on one thing at a time and give it the purity of our attention, otherwise we wouldn't enjoy. So sshhh !!!

We can surprise you by being very talkative and animated if we really like you. And that mostly comes out in one to one conversations, where focus is solely on one person at a time.

Being shy is not an essential introvert trait. Some of the best motivational speakers in the world are introverts - so it is not a general rule for us to be shy. If we master the art of 'uttering' words, we could climb up the stage and conquer our audience in no time. 

We hate small talk, so expect none from us; it is considered phony. The world is already a very noisy place and to make more noise merely for small talk is not our style. We would rather like to indulge in deep conversations that include the realities of life and the philosophy of love, for instance. That way we feel more connected to the human race. Small talks have no place in our lives. So, cut it, please.

What drains us the most? Socializing - even if we were having the time of our life, we would definitely want to take a long nap after socializing because it just sucks the energy out of us. After having a long week at work or a busy weekend, we would want to recharge our batteries by being alone and recovering from the people-filled time. This 'exciting' period will be spent thinking and reflecting in a calm environment.

For us, every second of every minute of every hour of every day that is spent networking is completely wasted. Networking is nightmare!!! When we tell you we cannot be a part of your plan on a weekend night, that's probably because we've plans of our own. We're peopled out on weekends because every weekend spent with people is marked as a weekday in our mental calendar. Talking about our plans, we are getting into our PJs, eating a whole bucket of ice cream and surfing the internet, watching movies, listening to music, reading a book and just wrapping up in bed pondering over life. Ahhh !! A weekend well spent !! By the way, even though we said we couldn't join you, we would still appreciate if you invite us the next time there is a plan. We might say no again…but we like to feel accepted and included. So, thank you. 

Don't even ask us to join you to a concert. Why in the heaven would anyone want to go to a place so noisy, so jam-packed with loud people and with limitations to facilitate deep thinking? We don't get that, extros !!!

If you happen to be someone with extra level of energy, which is constantly oozing out through your highly charged nonstop chattering, we would have to draw a lot of strength from 'somewhere' (I don't know where) to spend time with you. It just amazes us to see how any living being could have so much vigor and vitality to be a social butterfly.

We love spending time with ourselves, however, the feeling of solitude can turn into loneliness. At that point of time, we are thankful to our friends who take the pains of dragging us out of our muted bubbles. It is good to breathe out and very thrilling to get back into it, once we are done with the out-of-the-bubble experience.

Our need for space is due to the fact that we want no interruption, and absolutely no invasion of our privacy during 'thinking through things' - while taking a decision, we weigh pros and cons (not as loudly or vocally as the extroverts), so we need space to take vital decisions concerning our lives.

Remember, all this time while we are quietly listening to everyone, we are actually making close observations and taking mental notes of people and situations. We are more intuitive than your mind could ever imagine. Conclusion - never underestimate that introvert you often tag as loner, shy, rude, boring and whatnot.

Phew !!! So. Much. Talking. Now I need a nap. Until next time, readers !!! 

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26 comments

  1. You are a prodigious writer who has a frank access to the readers. Keep up.

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    1. That's a huge compliment to receive. Thank you for being one of my readers :)

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  2. As a fellow introvert I can definitely appreciate this post. Good read.

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  3. Amen to this!!! This is the story of my life! Lol. Thank you for being brave enough to share this!

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    1. Thank you, Shawna :) I am sure I can never bring myself to utter so many word verbally, but I can show enough bravery through written words, though :D

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  4. I am a complete extrovert, but my husband is the total opposite and is an introvert. He can totally relate to this post!

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    1. Thank you, Nina. It is good to have an extrovert read the piece and understand us better :)

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  5. Oh my goodness this is great! Yes, if someone is high energy and we know we won't have what's needed to actively participate we won't! I know I don't want to be rude so I avoid planning some days!!! Great post!

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    1. Thank you :) I do the same.. don't want to put myself through the discomfort, so better avoid it :D

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  6. I guess it's just not right to label people and certainly not in a way that makes them uncomfortable,we are all unique in our own way. That's just my philosophy. It's great to read your take. A wonderful post, forces one to stop and think. 😊
    From,
    www.thegypsygurl.wordpress.com

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    1. Thank you so much.. and yes I totally agree, labels can be cruel and unjust :)

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  7. thanks for the this! captured some personal issues of mine and this will really help :)

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    1. Thank you, Lloyd. I am glad this could help you :)

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  8. I am a homebody myself. I would rather be at home with a book than out at a big party. Shell

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    1. Haha likewise, Shell :) It's so much better that way!

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  9. I am also a introvert and find this post so honest and true!! Sometimes just being round a large group of people can be so exhausting! So it's nice for people to share awareness!

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    1. Yes, it is more exhausting than climbing a mountain all alone :D Thank you!

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  10. Your writings are so interesting, I love reading it.

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    1. Thank you so much, Courtney :) It's such a kind thing to say <3

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  11. Your writing is always great to read! I am not necessarily and introvert but do rather enjoy my alone time.

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    1. Thank you, Emely. It's really sweet of you to say that <3

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  12. I do love being alone and do much work but sometimes when i feel frustrate, i do go out with friends and relax myself.

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    1. Yeah, stepping out of your introvert bubble is good but I seldom ever do that myself :p

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Amna's Goodreads Bookshelf

To Kill a Mockingbird
Animal Farm
Of Mice and Men
The Alchemist
Me Talk Pretty One Day
Romeo and Juliet
Lord of the Flies
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
The Odyssey
A Tale of Two Cities
Frankenstein
Moby-Dick; or, The Whale
Les Misérables
Eat, Pray, Love
The Poisonwood Bible
The Joy Luck Club
Middlesex
The Memory Keeper's Daughter
Lolita
Under the Tuscan Sun


Amna Tariq Shah's favorite books »