Confessions of an Introvert
Friday, July 15, 2016
“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a
saint to go to Hell.”
― Criss Jami
― Criss Jami
To begin with, introverts are not anti-people or under-confident
or rude or whatever. I am here to play voice for my kind and make a few things
straight. Now, something about who we are! Well, we are those you see standing
awkwardly and quietly at parties, making failed efforts to contribute to
conversations. Also, those you see in libraries
sitting alone for hours absorbed in books. Those you sit next to during flights,
who wouldn't waste another second before they earplug themselves to shut any
possibility for you to interact with them. We are those who ditch you every
time you include us in a weekend out plan. Also, one of those at workplaces,
you think are totally dumb, deaf and lackluster, until one day you realize they
are wonder men or women doing incredible things and you are awestruck.
Peeps!! If we seem withdrawn, it isn't because we don't know what
you're talking about, we simply choose not to add up anything to the discussion
because most likely we are disinterested. Since, most of the times we are
completely consumed by the inner world of our own, we often fail to find the
right words while making a conversation with the outside world, so we think it
better to keep mum. This phenomenon of 'word searching' is a challenge. It
works like a 'writer's block', we have a words' block instead - a state which
leaves us tongue-tied, and/or even tongue-tired. Another reason could be that
we are probably in the middle of a deep thought process and would enlighten you
with a brainwave very soon. Multi-tasking is what we loathe. We like to focus
on one thing at a time and give it the purity of our attention, otherwise we
wouldn't enjoy. So sshhh !!!
We can surprise you by being very talkative and animated if we
really like you. And that mostly comes out in one to one conversations, where
focus is solely on one person at a time.
Being shy is not an essential introvert trait. Some of the best
motivational speakers in the world are introverts - so it is not a general rule
for us to be shy. If we master the art of 'uttering' words, we could climb up
the stage and conquer our audience in no time.
We hate small talk, so expect none from us; it is considered
phony. The world is already a very noisy place and to make more noise merely
for small talk is not our style. We would rather like to indulge in deep
conversations that include the realities of life and the philosophy of love,
for instance. That way we feel more connected to the human race. Small talks
have no place in our lives. So, cut it, please.
What drains us the most? Socializing - even if we were having the
time of our life, we would definitely want to take a long nap after socializing
because it just sucks the energy out of us. After having a long week at work or
a busy weekend, we would want to recharge our batteries by being alone and
recovering from the people-filled time. This 'exciting' period will be spent
thinking and reflecting in a calm environment.
For us, every second of every minute of every hour of every day
that is spent networking is completely wasted. Networking is nightmare!!! When
we tell you we cannot be a part of your plan on a weekend night, that's
probably because we've plans of our own. We're peopled out on weekends because
every weekend spent with people is marked as a weekday in our mental calendar.
Talking about our plans, we are getting into our PJs, eating a whole bucket of
ice cream and surfing the internet, watching movies, listening to music,
reading a book and just wrapping up in bed pondering over life. Ahhh !! A
weekend well spent !! By the way, even though we said we couldn't join you, we would
still appreciate if you invite us the next time there is a plan. We might say
no again…but we like to feel accepted and included. So, thank you.
Don't even ask us to join you to a concert. Why in the heaven
would anyone want to go to a place so noisy, so jam-packed with loud people and
with limitations to facilitate deep thinking? We don't get that, extros !!!
If you happen to be someone with extra level of energy, which
is constantly oozing out through your highly charged nonstop chattering, we would
have to draw a lot of strength from 'somewhere' (I don't know where) to spend
time with you. It just amazes us to see how any living being could have so much
vigor and vitality to be a social butterfly.
We love spending time with ourselves, however, the feeling of
solitude can turn into loneliness. At that point of time, we are thankful to
our friends who take the pains of dragging us out of our muted bubbles. It is
good to breathe out and very thrilling to get back into it, once we are done
with the out-of-the-bubble experience.
Our need for space is due to the fact that we want no
interruption, and absolutely no invasion of our privacy during 'thinking
through things' - while taking a decision, we weigh pros and cons (not as
loudly or vocally as the extroverts), so we need space to take vital decisions
concerning our lives.
Remember, all this time while we are quietly listening to
everyone, we are actually making close observations and taking mental notes of
people and situations. We are more intuitive than your mind could ever imagine.
Conclusion - never underestimate that introvert you often tag as loner, shy,
rude, boring and whatnot.
Phew !!! So. Much. Talking. Now I need a nap. Until next time,
readers !!!
26 comments
You are a prodigious writer who has a frank access to the readers. Keep up.
ReplyDeleteThat's a huge compliment to receive. Thank you for being one of my readers :)
DeleteAs a fellow introvert I can definitely appreciate this post. Good read.
ReplyDeleteThank you, fellow introvert ! :)
DeleteAmen to this!!! This is the story of my life! Lol. Thank you for being brave enough to share this!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shawna :) I am sure I can never bring myself to utter so many word verbally, but I can show enough bravery through written words, though :D
DeleteI am a complete extrovert, but my husband is the total opposite and is an introvert. He can totally relate to this post!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nina. It is good to have an extrovert read the piece and understand us better :)
DeleteOh my goodness this is great! Yes, if someone is high energy and we know we won't have what's needed to actively participate we won't! I know I don't want to be rude so I avoid planning some days!!! Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you :) I do the same.. don't want to put myself through the discomfort, so better avoid it :D
DeleteI guess it's just not right to label people and certainly not in a way that makes them uncomfortable,we are all unique in our own way. That's just my philosophy. It's great to read your take. A wonderful post, forces one to stop and think. 😊
ReplyDeleteFrom,
www.thegypsygurl.wordpress.com
Thank you so much.. and yes I totally agree, labels can be cruel and unjust :)
Deletethanks for the this! captured some personal issues of mine and this will really help :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lloyd. I am glad this could help you :)
DeleteI am a homebody myself. I would rather be at home with a book than out at a big party. Shell
ReplyDeleteHaha likewise, Shell :) It's so much better that way!
DeleteI am also a introvert and find this post so honest and true!! Sometimes just being round a large group of people can be so exhausting! So it's nice for people to share awareness!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is more exhausting than climbing a mountain all alone :D Thank you!
DeleteYour writings are so interesting, I love reading it.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Courtney :) It's such a kind thing to say <3
DeleteYour writing is always great to read! I am not necessarily and introvert but do rather enjoy my alone time.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emely. It's really sweet of you to say that <3
DeleteNice confession!good write up
ReplyDeleteThank you, Najeem!
DeleteI do love being alone and do much work but sometimes when i feel frustrate, i do go out with friends and relax myself.
ReplyDeleteYeah, stepping out of your introvert bubble is good but I seldom ever do that myself :p
Delete